Phonechat Confusion
by Lord Agravane the Undead
Summary: A collab by Shiny and I. You'll get the title when you read it. Archie receives a *very* interesting phone call from Maxie.


**Phonechat Confusion**

_By Lord Agravane and Shiny_

Disclaimer: We don't own Pokemon or the characters within.

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><p>Notes: Kat is Maxie's daughter and Shiny's OC<p>

I'm so old, I keep wanted to put stuff like "Archie lifted the receiver" for his phone call. Hahahahah!

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><p>Archie was having a bad day. He had wanted jam sandwiches for breakfast but the grunts had finished off all the jam. Sulking, he flopped down on his bunk and reached for a bottle of rum. Having a drink would cheer him up.<p>

Suddenly, the phone rang. "Oh bloody hell! Who's that?" Archie groaned. "It had better not be a spam call or I'll hunt them down and bloody keelhaul them!"

Archie pressed the answer button on the phone. "Yeah, Archie speaking", he said, trying not to sound too grumpy.

"Hello this is Maxie", the voice on the other end answered.

"Uhh, hi Maxie", said Archie, a little warily. What did Maxie, his rival want? Archie wondered if some of his grunts had been annoying some of Maxies' grunts and Maxie had called him to complain.

"I want to talk to you", Maxie said.

"Yeah, you're speaking to me now", Archie replied. Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Whatever it was, my grunts didn't do it!"

"It's not about the grunts".

"No? What's the problem then?"

"Arceus, why must there be a problem!" Maxie sounded impatient.

"OK, OK", said Archie hastily. He took a quick swig of rum. "So, what is it, Maxie? What do you want?"

"I want you to come to my Base".

Archie blinked. Had he heard right? Maxie was inviting him to Mount Chimney? His next question was obvious.

"Uh, what for?"

"I want to...uhhhm, makeoutwithyou", Maxie said, very quickly.

Archie nearly dropped his phone in surprise.

WHAT? What had Maxie just said? Had he heard right?

Not that he was complaining, however. An imagine of Maxie appeared in Archie's mind and Archie smirked with anticipation.

"Please come round", Maxie continued. "I need you".

"Sure Maxie", Archie said smoothly. "I'm yours anytime you want me, you know that. When shall I come over?"

"Now maybe?"

NOW?

Archie chuckled. Maxie sure was eager! Perhaps he was drunk?

"Ok Maxie, if you can't possibly wait for me", Archie said. "I'll be right over!"

"Thank you, I will be waiting", said Maxie.

Archie pressed the end call button and grinned to himself. The day wasn't turning out to be so bad after all.

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><p>Twenty minutes later, Archie arrived at Mount Chimney on his Tropius. He thanked her for the smooth flight, then recalled her to her Pokeball and looked round for Maxie. Not seeing the other man anywhere in sight, Archie frowned. Where was Maxie? He couldn't get inside without him.<p>

Just then, Archie saw a couple of grunts walking by. He called them over. "Oi, you lads. Come here a minute, I wanna word!"

The grunts looked wary and kept their distance. "What do you want?" one asked.

"I wanna speak with your Boss, he's expecting me".

The grunts glanced at each other nervously. They didn't trust Archie.

"You're the Team Aqua leader? How do we know you're not lying and trying to set a trap", one finally said.

Archie sighed impatiently. Bloody Maxie, where was he?

"Ok, I'll prove it", Archie said. He had recorded the call on his phone, so it was a simple matter to play part of it back. Of course, Archie didn't let them hear the part where Maxie said he wanted to make out but he played enough so that they heard Maxie inviting Archie round.

The grunts listened carefully and then they nodded to each other.

"That sounds like the Boss to me", said the first grunt.

"Yeah", agreed the second. He turned to Archie. "OK, Mister, we'll take you inside".

Archie grinned in triumph.

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><p>The grunts led Archie inside; blindfolding him so that he couldn't see where their Secret Entrance was. Ten minutes later, they arrived outside Maxie's office. They removed Archie's blindfold and the first grunt knocked on the door.<p>

"Boss, Archie is here to see you".

"Archie?" Maxie called back. "You mean Archie of Team Aqua? Why is he here?"

Archie snorted. "Because you bloody invited me over", he said under his breath.

Seconds later, Maxie opened the door. "Shooo", he told the grunts and to Archie he said, "Why are you here?"

The grunts scuttled off. Archie rolled his eyes. "Cus you invited me, no wait…*insisted* I come over". He strode in and sat down on a comfy chair.

Maxie shook his head. "No I didn't, Archie. Why would I do that?"

Archie smirked. "Playing hard to get are we?"

Maxie simply looked confused.

"Don't look so innocent at me", Archie continued. "You, who practically begged me to come over. What was it you said, hm...?"

Archie played the phone message back to Maxie. Maxie looked shocked and had turned bright red by the time the message ended.

"What what that? I-I never said any of that", he gasped.

"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure you didn't", Archie snickered. He moved closer to Maxie, a predatory look in his eyes.

"I didn't! I was with my commanders at lunch when I supposedly rang", Maxie insisted.

Archie grinned in a way that suggested he didn't believe Maxie at all. He leaned over and placed his hand on Maxie's shoulder.

Maxie panicked and tried to back away.

"Come on now, don't be shy", Archie said softly. "You know you'll enjoy it once we get going". Then, Archie slid his arm round Maxie and leaned in to kiss him.

Maxie glared and tried to push Archie away but wasn't strong enough.

Archie took Maxie in his arms and kissed him passionately. Maxie pretended to struggle at first but soon gave in.

Archie smiled when he felt Maxie go limp in his arms. He kissed him deeper and moved his hand up to caress Maxie's hair.

Maxie blushed and wrapped his arms around the pirate's neck.

"Hmm, yeah, that's it", Archie whispered in Maxie's ear. "You did *need to*, didn't you?"

Maxie blushed. "How did you know?"

Archie chuckled and kissed Maxie on the forehead. "Still playing the innocent, are we? Have it your way, Maxie". He pushed Maxie back in the chair and kissed his face and neck.

Maxie smiled and removed Archie's anchor from round his neck. "It genuinely wasn't me. Although…I'm glad that whoever called did so".

"I am too", said Archie, in a tone that suggested he still didn't believe Maxie. After all, the voice had sounded exactly like him. Nobody else could sound THAT much like Maxie. Archie removed Maxie's jacket, kissing and caressing him all the time.

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><p>Meanwhile, in another part of the Volcano, somewhere with a window looking outside, Chatters, (Kat's Chatot) was sitting on the windowsill, singing merrily. It was a beautiful day and he was enjoying the fresh air and the sunshine.<p>

Kat entered the room, carrying a bag of Pokekibble for her team.

Chatot saw the bag and squeaked loudly. "I would like some sweets please".

Kat chuckled. "No, it'll rot your beak".

"I want sweets, please!" Chatot whined.

Kat paused and stared at her Chatot. "You sound exactly like Maxie".

"I am Maxie, leader of Team Magma!" Chatot announced.

Kat put her hands on her hips. "You are not, Chatters".

"Arceus, why must there be a problem!" Chatot says at once.

**The End**


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